I've often said that if you stand around waiting for others to pat you on the back for something you've done, you could be, in many cases, waiting a long time. Know you did the right thing and move on. Many of us do things for others and don't get thanked and maybe feel a little butt hurt. I think my wife and I find ourselves in that boat.
Back around the turn of the century, our kids attended Ballard High School. Eric was supposed to graduate in 2002 and Whitney in 2004. Eric didn't make it, but Whitney did. Anyway, somehow Eric managed to friend some of the kids on the basketball team. What it amounted to was we had a lot of his friends trying to spend the weekends here, then on Sunday night, I'd load them into the van and take them all home. We're not talking about a few blocks away, either. Most of these kids came from way across town. In many cases, ten to fifteen, maybe more, miles away. Come the next Friday and we'd do it all over again.
Eventually one of the kids asked us if he could stay with us for awhile. His dad had passed away and his mom lived here, then there, never giving him or his sister a stable environment, in fact, leaving the raising of those 2 to their older brother. We liked the kid and had an unused bedroom and told him he was more than welcome to come live with us. We began treating him just like our own kids, making sure he had what he needed. One of the things I did was to take on the role of a father figure. He and his cousin were the pride and joy of the Ballard basketball team. That meant I went to every game, be it home or away. I'd fill up my van with kids and off we'd go. Because these 2 were so good, they were invited to join area select teams. They had practices at one end of town or the other and I was the only way they could get to many of those. Need less to say, I spent my fair share of time watching practices and games! I looked at this as something a good father would do. He'd see me sitting in the stands and I'm sure he appreciated the fact that I was there. As his time at Ballard approached it's end I thought it was a little odd that he wasn't receiving a lot of offers from colleges. I'd seen coaches from colleges come and scout other players, but not the 2 I was familiar with. When they both graduated from Ballard, it was decided between his uncle, uncles ex and my wife and I that they'd go to a small college in Texas. For all intense and purposes, we were his parental units. The following September had us waving goodbye as the 2 of them headed for Texas. For 2 years things were a lot quieter around here. We'd send him things he left behind and occasionally a few dollars. By no means are my wife and I wealthy. It was what we felt we had to do.
The 2 years in Texas end and it's back home. A couple schools are interested in our guy, but only one school is willing to take them both. It just so happens to be north of Seattle, which means we can go to some of the games! His cousin packs up and heads north, finding a place to stay. A week goes by and our guy decides he's not going. Back comes cousin. No more schooling for our guy. His cousin goes on to play for an out-of-state school. Now what?
Bottom line to this story is, he lived with us for 11 years. We invested a lot of time and money in to raising him like our own kids. Christmas presents, birthday gifts and whatever else he needed. Now he lives in Arizona with his gal pal and we seldom, if ever, hear from him. Ya know, I could accept this lack of communication if we weren't close, but we spent a lot of time together. My wife and I don't expect weekly updates, but a call once a month might be nice. If it wasn't for his gal pal we wouldn't get a Christmas card from them! So you tell me....are we expecting too much or should we just know we did the right thing and move on?
Big Dogg
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